In civilizations long since past, the aging female was looked upon with respect. The oldest in the community was often called the wise woman, crone, healer, witch or just mother.

Personally, I like the term crone. I want to be a Crone.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Going to Wal-Mart? Grandma Says Wear a Bra

The only thing Grandma likes about winter is that she can leave the house without a bra. This piece might fall into the too much information category, but you know that Grandma doesn’t give a rip about things like that.

Putting on layers of warm clothes to fight the freezing temperatures allows me to cover up what I don’t want the world to know. Who can tell what shape a woman really looks like she’s in when she’s swaddled in a cocoon of wool and microfiber, anyway?

Once you reach the crone age, physical comfort is a really big reward that should be enjoyed as much as possible.

The only time Grandma puts on a bra in the winter time is if she’s going somewhere with friends or family who might be embarrassed if she took off her warm winter wrap.

And, of course, if Grandma is going to Wal-Mart.

Grandma has laughed, scowled and forwarded dozens of emails of pictures taken of Wal-Mart shoppers dressed, or something that can be loosely defined as dressed. Sometimes Grandma even throws up in her mouth a little bit as she sees how some people go out in public. Previous to the shoppers of Wal-Mart craze Grandma got her best fashion chuckles at the public beach.

Now you know more about Grandma than you probably want to. Sorry about that. But, hopefully you’ll never see my picture included in those shoppers of Wal-Mart photos you see in your email. Feel very thankful for that.

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