Reader has her Own Grandma who Butts In

Dear Grandma,

How should I handle an interfering grandma who is always telling me that the way I am raising my children is wrong just because it is different than she raised hers? It’s a touchy subject around our home when dear hubby’s Mom comes to visit or makes her thrice weekly phone call to monitor how we are raising her grandbabies. She believes in spanking, and I don’t. She wants me to let them eat whatever they want while I insist on balanced healthy meals and a minimum of snacks. Help please.

Mom who doesn’t spank.

Dear Mom who Doesn’t Spank,

Every mom has a right to raise her children in her own way and to enjoy her family without being judged as long as everyone is safe, healthy and happy.

Grandma has lived a long time, and has seen that generations of women have problems in this area. There are as many reasons for the family problem as there are types of people.

While this Grandma believes that anyone who thinks a child in danger has a responsibility to speak up, Grandma doesn’t think this is a problem in your case.

Some moms never let their children grow up and live their own lives. They have to be told when they’re interfering.

Some women just need to grow a tougher skin.

Others need to be honest and communicate their feelings better.

Does grandma really interfere, or are you susceptible to take every comment as a judgment?

Have you tried letting grandma know how you feel when she makes her comments?

Is it possible that Grandma is lonely and calls three times a week so that she can stay in touch with her family?

Is it possible that you second guess a lot of your decisions and see a judgment in any comment or question about your parenting skills? The decision about spanking and meals is healthy and fair. This Grandma can’t see why you just can’t firmly tell your mother-in-law that this is what you and your husband have decided on and let any other comments echo harmlessly.

Being a mother is hard. So is being a mother-in-law, daughter or daughter-in-law. Grandma thinks that all of these women share a common bond. They all want the kids to be happy. They also don't want their own parenting skills to be judged. For the sake of the children, open the lines of communication. Honest communication. The kids can pick up on the tension.

If you really think that you’re not overdramatizing the situation and that grandma is interfering, it’s up to you to talk to your mother-in-law. Do it calmly, and do it soon.

Is my Girlfriend Cyber Flirting?

Dear Grandma,

I’m sure you probably don’t hear from a lot of men, but I need some help. My girlfriend and I live together and she spends all of her time when she’s not working chatting with people online. She’s very secretive and will either close her laptop or turn it when I walk behind her. I don’t know if she’s just playing games online like she says or is maybe flirting or more with some of the people she’s met through these games. How can I find out?

Gaming Victim

Dear Gaming Victim,

You didn’t mention why you don’t believe her claim of playing online games. You also don’t give a hint to why you suspect that she is flirting. Grandma doesn’t know if you have a reason to not trust the woman you are sharing a life with or if you’re just controlling or paranoid.

Have you tried discussing your concerns directly and honestly with her? In my opinion that’s the best way to find out something about someone. If this basic concept hasn’t occurred to you and you’re looking for other ways to find out about your girlfriend’s private activities, it’s no wonder she turns the laptop away from your prying gaze when you enter the room.

Back in Grandma’s Day we had extension phones. Do you remember those? If so, did you listen in on other peoples conversations? I hope not. If you didn’t, why do you think it’s okay to pry into your girlfriends social contacts now?

I would suggest that you calmly let your girlfriend know that you are curious about her online activity. Tell her why you feel threatened by her actions that seem to protect her privacy. It may just come down to the simple need of communicating with someone. In that case, maybe you could make yourself available so she has someone to talk to face to face outside of work and she won’t feel the need to spend so much time chatting online.

If her answers aren’t good enough for you, maybe you want to rethink this ‘trusting’ relationship and discuss where it is going with your girlfriend. Especially since you feel that you’re a victim, as you indicated by the way you signed your letter.

Grandma doesn’t think people should live in situations where they feel like the victim. But, there are people who feel like victims in every area of their lives. Grandma isn’t equipped to help the perpetual victim, but, instead urges professional counseling.

But in your case, Grandma thinks some open and honest communication and respect will solve the problem.

Chicago Bear Steaks, Packer Country Style

Green Bay Packer Fans usually like their steaks cooked on the grill, and Grandma knows a great recipe for the best grilled beef steak.

But now, Packer fans are braving the cold and building up a taste for some hot Chicago Bear Steak to fortify them for the best game of the playoff season and lead them to the Super Bowl.

How does Chicago Bear Steak simmered with onion sound? The Chicago Bear steaks are not only tender, but that awful aftertaste of the midnight blue, orange and white coat have been tempered by the addition of onions.

The best Chicago Bear Steak will be available after kickoff on January 23rd, but stock up on the onions and beer so you'll be ready to cook up this tasty post game dinner. Once you get your hands on the pulverized Chicago Bear meat, Packer fans only have a few steps left to prepare the meal. You can easily do it during half time.

Pound the living hell out of the Chicago Bear Steak with a meat tenderizer. If the Packers have already taken care of this job, as Grandma suspects is the case, just wash the Bear steaks off with some beer from the can I know you’re drinking, and dredge them in some flour with a bit of salt and pepper.  (If the bear meat has been overly beaten into submission on the field and falls apart by the time you get it, check out the way Grandma prepares Chicago Bear Meat Balls.)

Drop the floured and seasoned Chicago Bear steaks into a hot skillet of oil and sliced onions and brown on both sides. Drain off the excess oil. Chicago Bear steaks are known to be a bit greasy, so make sure you remove that disgusting mess from the skillet as well.

Add enough water to the skillet to cover the Bear steaks. Cover the pan and let the meat simmer, or stew, just like Lovie Smith is on the sidelines, until you’re ready to enjoy your meal.

Chicago Bear Steak during the playoffs is a rare treat. In fact, the last time Grandma remembers enjoying such a wonderful post season treat is back in 1941. The taste quickly soured in my mouth. I’ll really be enjoying the sweet taste this year.

Grandma plans on stocking up on enough Chicago Bear Meat to last her right through the Super Bowl Victory party.

Perhaps I’ll add some peppers and my favorite sauce, put it on a hoagie roll and enjoy a great Chicago Cheese Steak Sandwich, Packer style.

Chicago Bear Meat Ball Recipe for Tailgating Pleasure

Green Bay Packer Fans have a chance to pick up some fresh bear meat on their way to the big Super Bowl party. Grandma has some tips on how to best prepare the Chicago Bear meat is a way that will make your cheese snacks taste even better.

The best tasting Chicago Bear meat won’t be available until after kickoff on January 23rd, of course, but Grandma is all about being prepared and wants to make sure you have all of the other ingredients you’ll need packed into the Green Bay Packer Fan Tailgate party kit.

A good treat for half time of the Packer – Bear football game is Bear Meat Balls. The Bear meat has probably been ground up during the first half of the football game and will save you, the Packer Fan from the task.

For each pound of Chicago Bear meat, add 1/8 of a cup of chopped onion, ¼ cup of bread crumbs and a tablespoon of milk.

Mix the ingredients together well. Form it into balls. You don’t have to be gentle when handling ground Chicago Bear meat. Go ahead and slap it, roll it, and add a bit of salt.

Add some oil to your skillet and heat it up until it starts to spit a bit. Many Green Bay Packer Fans enjoy the popping noise made as Chicago Bear meat is dropped into the hot oil. Fry the Bear meat balls until they are brown. Resist the temptation to overcook. We have a great football team that will take care of that.

Chicago Bear meat has to be cooked thoroughly to kill the dangerous bugs, diseases and parasites that the meat has been known to carry. Stay healthy so that you can enjoy watching the Green Bay Packers in the Super Bowl by finishing the Chicago Bear meat balls in the oven until you’re sure they are cooked thoroughly.

If you’re not planning on feasting on the Chicago Bear meat balls until the post game celebration, add 2 tablespoons of flour to the drippings in the skillet along with some water. Heat to a boil, stirring constantly and put the browned Chicago Bear meat balls back into the hot gravy bath. Turn down the heat and let them simmer for about an hour.

Don’t worry about turning down the heat on the Chicago Bear meat balls. The Green Bay Packers will be applying enough heat to the Bears on the field.

Grandma will be posting more Chicago Bear Meat recipes as she thinks of them. Check back often. Better yet, subscribe to Grandma Butts Inn.